I am posting several times. I want to die. Please help me. I cannot eat, cannot sleep, and want to die. I applied for a leave of absence from school.
I originally had an in-outline double eyelid from birth and wanted the original double eyelid line extended as it was.
2 mm incision, removal of sagging skin on the inner corner side
The line will show slightly more than now, extended longer
That is what I heard before getting on the operating table. It has been 1 month and 10 days. A deep in-outline double eyelid line
For the first month after surgery, maybe because there was swelling or something, the line came out straight; it was not uneven, not sausage-like, not scarred, and not too high, and there are no functional problems. I also got scar injections twice for free, and they said they would give two more rounds. Maybe because of that, the swelling is really on the low side too.
When I wore makeup, my eyes used to look feline, long, and pretty. Even with light makeup, they were long, and because the double eyelid line was long, I used to try to make it look more natural when wearing makeup.
Now they are too round, and became gentle-looking eyes, and the harmony broke because of those few millimeters.
Especially bare-faced, I used to feel good when I washed my face and looked at my face, but now I want to die.
What kind of glory was I trying to enjoy by doing this? Big eyes are not automatically pretty, and even the makeup I liked so much is hard to do now.
I keep pulling and rubbing my eyelids hoping the eyelid skin will sag, cannot sleep, and live staring into the mirror, but I cannot give up on my face.
I am going to take a leave of absence, work part-time, save money, and restore it to the original, but I hate incisions.
With fat grafting to the upper eyelids, I want to lower the double eyelid line even by 1 mm and only revise the end line of the double eyelid.
Sometime this week I will get a copy of the surgical record and photo files. If I get fat grafting to the upper eyelids, will the eyelids sag a little and will the line come down? It will sag more with time, though. I want to live right now.
I want to lower the end and make the line straight.
In the early period after surgery, maybe because of swelling, thanks to the line extending outward and eyes that did not look round, I thought it really turned out well.
As the swelling goes down, it looks even stranger. I really trusted someone skilled and did it, and thought of it like just pinching a double eyelid, but I did not know those few millimeters would change my eye shape and make me unable to sleep. Please leave comments with advice and defenses from experience. They give me so, so much strength.
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