(Long post) 8-month rhinoplasty review + thoughts, rambling

At the end of February this year, during my winter vacation, I was pressed for time, and I was anxious, thinking, if I don't do it now, when will I ever be able to do it? So without really looking into it properly, I impulsively narrowed it down to four places (the places I had picked at the time were Kim Sang-b Plastic Surgery, Miplus, Miuz, Faceline), and my plan was to visit them in order and make a reservation at the place I liked. Things went wrong from the start. As soon as my vacation began, I should have started going around from Thursday (I live outside Seoul, so it takes three hours to get to Seoul), but I kept hanging out and ended up going on Saturday. Among the hospitals, Kim Sang-b (it seemed good because they said they use a plaster model? Now that I'm post-op, I don't look things up anymore, so I don't know if it really is good...) said they were fully booked, so I couldn't go. Miuz was a place someone I knew had gone to, but when I searched it, it turned out they were not a specialist, so I passed... The only two left were Miplus and Faceline, and at the time, from the perspective of me, who knew absolutely nothing, a place that had appeared on TV on Let Me In looked incredibly trustworthy. Actually, it wasn't even one of the places I had planned to visit, but that evening I found it online suddenly and made an appointment. Since it was close to get there from the terminal by subway, I decided to go there first. My heart was pounding, and I was just thinking, ah, I guess I'm going to become pretty too. I had a consultation with the consultant for about 20 minutes and with the doctor for about 10 minutes, then came out and called an acquaintance. (To be honest, even then I was still unsure whether to do it or not.) I asked if surgery was possible that day too. By chance, I hadn't eaten that day, so they said it was possible, and if I waited about an hour, I could have surgery. The consultant got excited and tried to schedule the surgery, and I came to my senses a bit, so I said, no, I'll go look at other places first. Then the consultant said all the other places are the same, we are the best, we really don't have surgery time available, so if you want to go look elsewhere, pay a 100,000 won deposit. So I hesitated and thought, ah, if I don't have surgery today, I'll have to wait until Monday, and then I won't even be able to get the stitches removed before going back to work... And out of the hassle of not wanting to look into it any more, I impulsively booked the surgery. I was extremely stupid.... Even that deposit, looking back now, I wonder why I was tempted by it. If it were a hospital with real skill and nothing to lose, they would have said to go look around everywhere else first... Sigh. Anyway, I had a severe bulbous, broad, fleshy nose, and I basically had no bridge, so from the side you could see the eye on the other side... My nickname in middle school was Peanut (because of my side profile..) At that time, while I was hesitating and didn't really know anything, I had this carefree mindset that since they were doctors, surely they would do a good job. I had nasal tip lengthening with ear cartilage, silicone for the nasal bridge, alar base reduction by incision, and they tied the inside of the nose to bring it together, things like that. As for the result, I don't have any major complications, but I'm not satisfied either... The silicone on the nasal bridge is shifted to one side, and my nose only had the nostril wings reduced; it is still big and bulbous. Other than getting a bridge, there was nothing gained. Because it is shifted, the side it shifted toward has become a chalky-looking nose. It is very noticeable. The alar reduction scars are still there. At the time, I was too excited to care, but these days, approaching one year... I've often been told I heal well no matter where I get injured, so recovery went well and I don't have contracture, but sometimes the inside of my nose throbs and stings, then tiny millet-like pimples appear clustered around the nasal bridge, and the brow bone area connected to the nasal bone throbs and hurts. Nothing is happening right now, but I feel like something will happen, so I'm looking into silicone removal and revision surgery. I had surgery because I hated my face so much before and had a complex, but now I want to go back to my old face... My personality is somewhat perfectionistic, quite fickle, and I worry a lot, so now I understand what people mean when they say once you get plastic surgery, you keep touching things... If only I had spent that money on something that made me happy... haha I just want to live without caring about my face. Originally, I didn't really look in mirrors, but after surgery, I spend hours a day just looking in the mirror, losing time, searching online, and whenever even something small happens, I get anxious wondering if it's a complication... If I could turn back time, I desperately want to turn it back and go back to before surgery Living with the face you were born with... There is no such thing as an ugly person. Funny enough, the nose and face that looked so ugly to me before and were such a complex now look cute and quite pretty in old photos, and I miss them. It feels like I'm not myself.... I said this was a review, but I ended up leaving only rambling.