I’m writing this out with a heavy heart, regretting all the nose surgeries I’ve had so far. . .
The first time. . .
I didn’t know any better. I thought nose surgery would just make me pretty. . . I even worried that my friends and parents might not recognize me because my appearance would change so much lol. The half-upturned nose was in style, and I had a non-open procedure plus alar reduction. There was no dramatic change after surgery, but since my image changed, I looked prettier than before, more refined, and I was satisfied in my own way because it was my first cosmetic procedure. . . As time passed, my nose became crooked and the tip turned red. I heard that a non-open procedure often causes the nose to become crooked.
A few years later, the second time. . .
The crooked nose aside, the tip was red, so even if I removed my makeup a little, it showed. That’s why I decided on a second surgery. I showed them a photo of Sung Yuri and said I wanted this. They said I liked a straight nose. These days, a youthful nose is in style, so instead of making the tip sharp and sleek like before, they make it rounder and softer. So that’s what I had done. I was satisfied after it was done. I should have stopped there. . . It was greed. . . I want to go back to that time. . . I regret it so much. Whenever I went out, I kept thinking about how there were so many pretty women these days, and I got greedy too.
A few years later, the third time. . .
I wanted to become prettier. I wanted to combine the shape of my first and second noses. I asked for a half-upturned nose with a rounded tip. After surgery, I was extremely satisfied. The doctor said the inside of my nose was a mess and that they cleaned everything up. They also did forehead fat grafting together, and the nose shape and nose line were exactly to my taste, and even people around me said it looked the best. But before a month had even passed, nose pain started. The area between my eyebrows and the columella . . . and there was also a hollowing of the nasal bridge. . . I went to the clinic and got antibiotic injections and prescriptions, but it still hurt. When I asked what I should do, they said there was no option except medication for now, so I waited 6 months. While waiting, one nostril started to rise. Looking at photos from then now, even right after surgery, one nostril was already showing slightly more.
Six months later, the fourth time. . .
I had revision surgery at that clinic. With the second round of forehead fat grafting. . . The one side of the nose still stayed raised, and the hollowing got worse by one more spot. Maybe because of the forehead work too, the line looked pretty again. They told me to watch it for 6 months. During that time, the nose rose even more and I had pain in the glabella and columella. There was also a boundary line in the glabella . . . When the 6 months were up, I rushed to the clinic. I was already furious, and I had made an appointment, but they made me wait, so I was incredibly angry and irritated. From that point on, I was a bit difficult. I raised my voice and said, “When is it? I made an appointment, so why are you making me wait an hour now?” Then they immediately let me see the doctor. The doctor said, “It seems like your nose has gone down compared to before” (I was speechless, seriously - -). So I said, “This? Gone down? Did you look from the side? Has it gone down? From what I can see, it hasn’t gone down at all, not even a little.” The doctor said, “Let’s just have a little more time and wait.” So I said, “You want me to wait? I can’t wait. I’m mentally having such a hard time right now. People keep asking why my nose looks like this. Then I just lie and say I got hurt and keep going. What are you going to do about it?” and kept pressing them. Even so, the doctor kindly told me to talk with the director about it or something, in a conciliatory way. So I calmed down a bit and talked to the director. That director started talking about another surgery or whatever, and honestly! Just hearing them mention revision surgery again was so absurd that I don’t even remember what the director said. I was that worked up - - In any case, they kept talking about another surgery, so I said, “I already had side effects at this hospital and ended up needing surgery again, and it turned out like this. Why would I want to do it here again? I can’t have surgery here, so refund my money.” But no matter how skilled or famous a place is, there’s no such thing as 100%, honestly. . . So I just thought, this doctor and I weren’t a match. I got my refund too. I made consultation appointments at hospitals said to be really good at revision and reconstruction, and went to three places in a day around this point. It’s not even like I live in Seoul, either. I found one place I liked. The other places were famous for dermis grafts, and even then I was thinking, since I’m paying a lot for surgery, if possible I wanted a nose-lowering surgery but also wanted the nose line to come out nicely, so I didn’t want dermis. But here they said they would use an implant, and the doctor seemed confident. He also seemed skilled. He was a well-known reconstructive surgeon. During the consultation, when he said that even after going to many other places there would only be a few hospitals willing to operate, I burst into tears. I thought, so my nose really was that severe. . . According to this doctor, it was a difficult case and there are only a few places that would accept it, so the fact that this hospital accepted me meant they could do it, right? Looking at photos, there were cases even worse than mine, and he said they had been doing only contracture surgeries lately and that he had even done one that morning, so he showed confidence. The consultation ran a bit long, so I had to cancel the other consultation I had scheduled that day. Then I chose this hospital, put down the deposit that day, and even set the surgery date. The director said that if I didn’t get greedy, I would be satisfied, and said they would treat me as almost their last case, so I trusted them.
Six months later, the fifth surgery. . .
Because it was the fifth surgery, it was expensive. But if my nose could just come back, the price didn’t matter. The size of the nostrils affected by contracture had also gotten smaller, so they corrected the nostrils too, both sides. . . And I wore something like a nostril correction device. Because of the splint, I couldn’t know the result. They had put on a long splint. . . When they removed the stitches and took off the splint, I asked them to show me a mirror in the treatment room, and the moment I saw it I was so shocked I cried. My nose. . . The nose that had only had one side raised. . . both sides were completely upturned, and my nose had become so short it looked monstrous. There was swelling too. . . The doctor came and said nose-tip surgery is simple and that we should do it about a month later. So I asked, “Didn’t I have to wait 6 months?” and they said I didn’t need to wait that long. A month later, it was still hard, so let’s watch for 3 months. Three months later, let’s wait a bit more. . . If I didn’t keep that nostril support in, my nostrils would shrink and I’d get short of breath when breathing. It was so painful. Even when I stepped out just to throw out trash in front of my house, I wore a mask. I got PRP injections into my nose once a month. Because I was struggling so much with my nose, I got PRP every two weeks. It was still hard, but I couldn’t just stay at home and avoid seeing people forever. Another 6 months passed. I asked them to do surgery. There was also some inflammation in my nose, so it hurt when pressed. . . If there’s inflammation in the nose, they remove the implant, they said. I said I didn’t want that. There was no choice, they said. The only method was to remove it. . .
Six months later, the sixth surgery
The next day I went in for treatment and asked the doctor as soon as I saw him, “What happened to my nose?” and he said he had removed the implant. . . I was instantly irritated. I had paid a lot and gone to a place good at revision surgery because I didn’t want it removed. . . But then I thought, well, that means there’s no chance of inflammation, and maybe it’s better this way. If only the nose goes down, that’s fine. Being low isn’t the problem. I had already lowered it a lot, suppressing my greed. But then I searched again and saw that if they remove it, it contracts? - - I was already dealing with contracture, and now what kind of joke was this - - I told the doctor, and he said no, that wasn’t true. But it’s only been about 3 weeks now, and it’s still an upturned nose. . . The doctor said that when he operated, it was similar to a normal nose, but that it had risen during that time. I cried and made a scene at the hospital, asking them to do another surgery right away, even tomorrow. They said no. They said surgery would be a big problem. I started taking Singulair today, for one month. . . I guess I have to wait at least another 6 months. . . The scar tissue keeps remaining, and doing this so intensely every 6 months seems like too much. If possible, I was going to wait 1 year or even 2 years, as long as I could get to the point where I could go out without a mask. Failing again is making my self-esteem sink lower and lower. Just thinking about it makes me cry. I regret it. They were kind, and even after the first surgery they never let go of me and kept paying attention, and the director and doctor said I’m their number one patient to focus on. I’m grateful for that, but for me, the result is what matters. . . I’m really in complete shock. I’ll have to think again about what to do. For those of you considering cosmetic nose surgery, think again and again. Don’t do it. . . If you ask people who have had many surgeries, most of them will regret it and want to go back to how things were, and they’ll probably tell those who want surgery not to do it. Thank you for reading all the way to the end of this long post
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