I had double-jaw surgery at * Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery near Apgujeong Station at the end of September last year, and it has already been 8 months. Only now, as I write this and think back on it, do I realize that so much time has passed.. That is how much I have just been enduring each day, not even knowing how the days go by.
Because of the double-jaw surgery, I developed nerve damage, and even now, 8 months later, I have constant pain that I cannot tolerate without medication. And as hard as it may be to believe, I am now in a situation where skeletal problems have developed that actually make double-jaw surgery the only answer, more so than before the surgery.. (Asymmetry that I did not have before, malocclusion, protrusive mouth, mandibular retrusion, etc., all worsened after surgery) These are not my personal judgments or opinions; they are things diagnosed by specialists at other private clinics and at a university hospital..
The more I move my jaw, the worse the neuralgia gets, so even daily things like eating and speaking are difficult.. And since my bite does not fit at all anyway, I cannot even chew. (My bite before surgery was normal) Even so, the surgeon only said that all he had done was perform the surgery well, dismissed the problems I complained of as oversensitivity, or did not even answer me.. Rather, I think that surgeon’s attitude was so strange that it made me realize how bad my situation was.. Even an ordinary person can see that things are crooked, yet a doctor, who is supposed to be a specialist, said it was straight and avoided the issue in a completely absurd way, saying that my eyes were the problem..
Especially for about a month after surgery, the intensity of the neuralgia was truly as if my jaw were being struck with a hammer, stabbed and torn with a knife, and multiple awls were repeatedly being driven in and pulled out.. If I had to describe it in words, it was that horrifyingly severe. I could not sleep for 24 hours and just kept thinking that I wished someone would knock me unconscious, that it would be better to die.. I told the hospital about my condition, but to me, who could barely even move, they said things like go to the pharmacy and buy medicine, join the hospital cafe, apply for a membership level upgrade, and post a question to the doctor.... Even now, as I write this, thinking back to that time makes my chest feel tight and makes it hard to breathe...
After repeatedly becoming exhausted on my own, I barely managed to visit the hospital, and I still remember what the surgeon said to me with a smile.. As if dealing with a child who was exaggerating, he said, “This isn’t really a painful surgery~” and when he saw that my expression was serious, he said I was healing and left.. The next time I met him, he even said that it was not pain, and asked whether I was mistakenly thinking I was in pain because I was mentally weak.. Even after hearing things like that, I believed that since he was a doctor, even if he spoke that way, he would take responsibility for me and treat me. I feel like such an idiot.. I kept believing, “because he is a doctor, because he is a doctor,” and suppressed myself for so long that I felt like I was developing a mental illness.. Everyone, I learned that not every doctor actually has the mindset of a doctor..
What is frightening is that this kind of person emphasizes communication with patients so much on YouTube.. If you only watch the videos, this person seems to understand very well what patients want. But the person I actually experienced is absolutely not the person in those videos.. It is just an image created for promotion, but who could distinguish that? Who would not be swayed when someone says patients are like family...?
Still, I was in a situation where I had to continue receiving treatment.. I thought this could not go on, so after requesting it, I barely managed to meet the surgeon. It was only 4 months after surgery that I finally sat face-to-face with the surgeon for a proper consultation.. But that day, he suddenly asked whether these problems had not already been there before surgery.. Even though until then he had said there were no problems at all.. He asked me whether I had lived my life without knowing that I was crooked... I was speechless, and I had gone there clutching at straws, but instead I think I lost all hope.. I judged that there would be no answer from this hospital anymore, so I requested a refund and treatment expenses, and after that the doctor would not meet me.. They said I could not even be connected to the doctor by phone, and only the managers called, repeating the same thing: that there had been no problem with the surgery, and if I did not want to receive treatment at their hospital, there was nothing they could do, so I should handle it myself.
For 8 months, nothing has improved.. Even if what is visible to the eye is a mess, I could live if only it did not hurt.. But because of this pain, even basic things like eating and speaking cannot be done properly, so recovery is slower, and I feel my physical strength and mental state becoming so weak.. I am so scared about whether I will even be able to endure revision surgery. A professor who is an authority in this field also said surgery is necessary, but in my current condition it is dangerous, so I need pain treatment first.. When I take medicine and lie face-down on the floor, staying still and enduring the pain, I think it might be easier to just die like this. I am tired of telling my family and acquaintances that I am okay because they worry so much, and honestly, I just wish everything would stop..
To write something like this, I inevitably have to think back on what happened, so I thought it would be too hard.. That is why I had not even been able to tell the community until now.. Even now, it is so hard.. But after I ended up like this, I met a doctor, and that doctor said this to me.. It is such a frightening world. But patients have no way to distinguish it.. Just as I never imagined I would end up like this...
On top of that, when something like this happens, the patient is also the weaker party before the law.. They say medical records become legal evidence, but it is so easy for a hospital to manipulate something like medical records.. Even a lawyer says the hospital has probably already manipulated the medical records.. In a world where people say things like this so easily, as if it is only natural, if patients cannot distinguish hospitals and must fully bear even the consequences of something going wrong after surgery, is that not terrifying..?
So I am going to try uploading what I experienced, little by little, adding more details... It is hard for me, but I hope that those who read it will become a little more cautious when deciding on surgery and choosing a hospital.. Things to be careful about.. Things to prepare for, and so on.. I will try to share more information that I can offer going forward.
I truly hope and hope that no one goes through the same horrific situation as I did..