Next week I’m going to Seoul for revision rhinoplasty and my first eye surgery

I’m having surgery in Seoul next week, and honestly, of course I want it to turn out pretty, but because of the trauma from my first nose surgery, I’m scared I might die if something goes wrong this time... I had my first nose surgery about 6 years ago. I don’t remember whether I had general anesthesia, anyway... As soon as they anesthetized me, my consciousness headed into space. Like the feeling of being sucked into space? It would’ve been fine if my consciousness had just stayed in that awful space, but it suddenly whooshed back into the body that was undergoing surgery; of all times, it seems like that was when they were doing the osteotomy. It felt like a huge iron stake, the kind used to kill Dracula, was being hammered into the area between my eyes. It felt like my head was being smashed like a watermelon and I was going to die, but I could hear the doctor’s and nurse’s voices too. In an urgent voice, the nurse kept telling me, “Patient, relax your body, relax,” and I remember thinking, “I think I did relax, so why are they saying that?” Maybe because I was terrified and tensed up, I think I bled more than expected. At first, when I wasn’t fully conscious, I said, “Please make it pretty...” but later, when I could feel and hear the surgery, I got more and more scared, so I asked the nurse, “Please hold my hand, please, please,” but she never held it until the end. Thinking about it now, maybe the situation was a bit urgent, or maybe she couldn’t because they had to maintain sterility. Then I lost consciousness and came back alive safely. After the surgery, the doctor said the surgery took longer than expected because I had tensed my body too much and bled a lot. Anyway, maybe because of that incident, my nose wasn’t pretty at all even after the nose surgery. It just looked like an Avatar nose. I wanted revision surgery, but because of that memory, I was too scared to even think about revision surgery and just thought I’d live like this forever... But as time went on, since ear cartilage had been used in my nose, the Avatar-like nose gradually drooped down and all that crap. It stressed me out every time I looked at my face. It was to the point where I looked much better before getting my nose done.. If it felt like someone was looking at my side profile, I’d get so stressed and irritated I felt like I was going crazy.. So after thinking about it for about 6 and a half years? I decided to get revision surgery, but since it’s far from Changwon to Seoul, I could only visit 3 clinics in person.. On top of that, 2 of them were places known for eyes. (I did get consultations for eyes and nose at the last clinic. There, they quoted something like 10 million won;) Ha... damn... Still, the first clinic I visited in person was a place where I’d seen a lot of reviews I liked while researching online, and it seemed okay when I went in person too, so I came home and booked it.. I wonder if it’s okay even though I couldn’t visit many places in person... But even looking online, there aren’t many places I like, and the Photoshop is completely obvious.. Ha, I’m nervous. I don’t think the place where I’m having surgery has an anesthesiology specialist ㅜㅜ In one video, they said to skip places without an anesthesiology specialist. For reference, I’m getting it done by Director ㅇㅇㅌ at ㅁㅇㄷㅅㅎㅇㄱ.. For eyes, Director ㄱㅊ... Please save me, I’m scared..