I had revision surgery yesterday. It is so hard.

Yesterday, I finally had my revision surgery. This is my third surgery this time. For the first one, I had silicone placed all the way to the nasal tip. My nose also became crooked, and since I had a bulbous nose, I ended up getting revision surgery to have the nasal tip done as well. The surgery I had this time was a revision because the hospital where I had my second surgery did it wrong. During the second surgery they said they would correct my crooked nose, but even after osteotomy my nose became crooked again. For the nasal tip, cartilage had been inserted, but I guess my skin was very thin. The tip area where the cartilage was inserted was too round. Unnaturally. The nasal tip and dorsum should connect naturally, but maybe they tied the cartilage too tightly; the nasal tip was very obvious, like a clothespin had been clipped on. I spent a lot of money and went through so much for that surgery, so I thought it would turn out well when I had the second revision. But they made my nose look strange, so I became completely depressed, looked in the mirror every day and cried, and even had thoughts of wanting to die. This revision surgery was basically something I barely managed to get by insisting. Even when I confronted the doctor, he said it looked fine to him, that my nose was crooked because my original nose was crooked, and that the nasal tip would supposedly get better with time.. It was such an absurd answer. So when I asked for a refund, he said that was out of the question... We barely reached an agreement, and that is how I ended up having this revision surgery. For this surgery, they said the bridge would be done with silicone, and the nasal tip would be lightly covered with AlloDerm over the area where the cartilage was tied. When I asked them to make the nose higher than before, they said my nose was thin so it should not be raised more, and we decided to keep it the same as before. Maybe because I had surgery before, this surgery had less swelling than before and hurt less during the operation too. Originally, I was going to reduce the nasal alae during this surgery too, but since I was having open rhinoplasty, they said doing the alae together would cause too much bleeding, so I decided to do the alae again a little later. They said that if I have the nasal alae operated on again, it will take about two weeks, and I cannot go to work or meet friends, so I am just shut up at home looking in the mirror every day. It is so hard. I get my stitches removed in a week, and once they are removed I will upload photos. Thinking about it now, I really think rhinoplasty is something you should think through carefully before doing.. I regret so much that I chose the hospital right away just because it was well known and had a reputation for being good, without even properly consulting around.